Saturday, April 20, 2013

February 21 Where's Johnny Cochran when we need him?


Betsey and Josh took it upon themselves to prepare me for my interrogation – if there is one.  I haven’t heard anything yet.  Betsey was the brilliant defense attorney and Josh the loyal associate, or maybe her private detective.  Priscilla hung around so as not to miss anything.
“Now remember,” Betsey cautioned, “the cops will try to get you to confess.  Don’t believe anything they say.  Don’t you say anything without a lawyer.”

“I don’t have anything to confess. I didn’t do it.”
“They don’t care.”

“What if they won’t let her go to the bathroom unless she confesses?” Cilla chimed in.  That did make me a little nervous.  I guess it’s all the worrying I do about children’s and animals’ bladders.  (Ed can look out for himself.)
“Ask to see a lawyer right away,” Josh advised.  “He’ll make them let you go.” 

“Or she,” Betsey corrected.
Ed was passing by on his way to somewhere.  “Just make sure you get a public defender.  Otherwise, we won’t be able to afford Disney World next year.”

“I don’t want to go the Disney World if Mommy’s in jail,” Cilla wailed.
“That’s all right; we can all send her postcards.”

“Stop it, Ed.  Just go do whatever it is you’re doing.  Or take the dog out.”
Anyway,” Betsey continued, “Don’t get taken in by the good cop/bad cop routine.  You know what that is, don’t you?”

“I think so.”  There was no sense telling the kids that Ed and I had used it for years.  (Not having someone to be the other cop must be one of the hardest things about being a single parent.)
Fortunately, they didn’t want to role play for practice.

“They’ll ask you if you want a cup of coffee to give you a false sense of security.”
“I just drink tea,” I interrupted.  I couldn’t help myself.

“If you ask for tea that might make them mad.  You’d better just say, ’No thank you.’”

I almost suggested that I could wait for the lawyer and then ask for tea, but since I don’t have the legal knowledge the children have picked up from television, I decided to keep quiet.  Besides, tea might make me have to go to the bathroom.  Diet soda would be best, since it makes you retain water.  There’s sodium in it, I think.

By then, it was time to start dinner.  I thanked Betsey and Josh for their help and Priscilla for her support.
Of course, I don’t have anything to worry about, since I’m innocent.  But isn’t that what they all say in the mystery movies?

 

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