Thanks be to Whatever!

I'd say that Thanksgiving is about my third favorite holiday, after Halloween and Christmas.  Of course, it’s special because Cilla was born on Thanksgiving.  My cousin Joanna, who is an artist, was doing the birth announcements for us and designed one with a turkey wearing a pilgrim hat carrying a bundle with a baby girl wearing a pilgrim lady’s cap.  If anyone had said anything, or even looked like they were thinking of something, I was ready to say, “Cutesy is the new trendy.”   But nobody did.

When I was a child, we always went to my mother’s parents’ house for dinner.  My other grandparents  lived in England.  Aunt Pooh would be there with my Uncle Joe and my cousins Meghan, Joanna, Bethany, and Jim, and my Uncle Hank (Henry James) and Aunt Judy, and their three children, Jennifer, Jessica, and Jason.  Aunt Judy refused to go literary with the names, although she did try to persuade Uncle Hank to start calling himself H. James, so they could be the Five J’s. 

We kids all had fun running around, but what I liked best was sitting with the grownups and listening to them talk. Someone would always say that Thanksgiving was their favorite holiday, since it wasn’t cluttered with a lot of religious baggage.  There would usually be a debate about what we had to be thankful for, since the world was in such a state and how should we feel about having so much when so many people had so little?  Someone would say something about helping the poor, and everyone agreed that we had to do it, but really what good does charity do when the system continues to oppress everyone?

One year Jennifer, who was just in nursery school, wanted to say grace, but my grandmother saved the situation by suggesting we all go around the table and say what we were thankful for.  I said I was thankful for the Barbie doll and Barbie Dreamhouse I’d just gotten for my birthday.  Aunt Pooh and Aunt Judy looked at my mother, who said, “She wouldn’t give us any peace.  But we got her Veterinarian Barbie.”

Holidays can be delicate situations for divorced families. Janet and Ed’s father switch off between Allison and Ed.  This year, Janet and Kate are coming our house, as well as my father.  There will be some game on TV for the men to watch and Janet and Kate like to help in the kitchen or amuse the kids.  By dinner time, everyone will had some wine, so we'll all get along.  I’m thankful for that.

Good Halloween Fun or Brainwashing?

"Mommy, something terrible has happened!"  With Betsey, you never know if she's upset about her life's dramas or what is happening to some poor animal.  I took a deep breath and prepared to run to the site.

"What happened?"

"Cilla doesn't want to do Halloween.  She says it's worshipping the Devil and we'll go to Hell."

I wasn't sure whether Betsey was afraid that she would be going to Hell or worried about her sister.  For Cilla, who loves costumes and fantasy, to reject Halloween was frightening, like when your no-nonsense friend is crying herself to sleep every night and losing weight because of a breakup.
What with summer's staying another month or so (I haven't put the summer clothes away yet and we haven't had any soup days) and the general craziness of current events lately, the times are out of joint enough.

"You don't believe that, do you?"

Betsey put on her exasperated but patient face.  (The old girl is annoying, but she means well.)  "No, Mother.  But one of her stupid friends gave her this stupid little comic book with kids going to someone's house and getting caught by the Devil and being thrown into Hell.  If that had happened, we'd have heard about it."

"Maybe that's what happens to kids that disappear on Halloween." I hadn't noticed Josh, probably because he was staring into the refrigerator behind the door.  I jumped.

"Good one, Josh."  I expected Betsey to hiss "Moron" or something after she finished laughing, but she just looked thoughtful."We'll have to see if anyone disappears this Halloween."

I thought of suggesting they Google "Unsolved Halloween Disappearances", but I didn't want to encourage them.

"Now do you really think . . ."

"That's why they tell you to only go to houses where you know the people.  But they didn't want to scare us."

"Maybe the Devil breaks into people's houses and kills them.  The he answers the door and the kids think he's just some corny dad dressed up as Satan."

"And he says, 'Come on in, I have a special surprise for you.'"

"Or he has followers who let him use their house. Then he kills them." 

I hoped they were just fooling around,  This could be a teachable moment about legends and respecting other people's religious views, even if they're wrong.

'"Aunt Pooh had a funny story about this crazy old man who shot rock salt at trick or treaters. 
But they never saw him.  It was just a legend,  Your grandmother couldn't understand the point of it, but Aunt Pooh  and Uncle Hank always hoped he'd come after them.  It's like scary movies.  You know it's not real, so it's fun to get frightened,"

"Maybe he was going to the bathroom when they rang his doorbell.".

"Nobody ever saw him.  But that doesn't mean he doesn't exist."

"Kind of like God or the Holy Ghost."

I wasn't up to a theological discussion, so I went upstairs to talk to Cilla.  She was sitting on her bed playing with her "Game Person" as she calls it.  Actually Josh gave her his old one.  She had refused to buy one because it was sexist, but would take a free one.

"Betsey told me that comic book upset you."

"Oh, yeah.  But I decided just to go to houses I know.  I'm going to be a princess."

"That's a good idea.  What color dress do you want?"

We had a good discussion and decided on pink with a diamond tiara. 

I took the comic with me.  I told Cilla I wanted to read it because it's good to see what other people believe.  I hoped that if she didn't see it, she'd forget about it.

I Googled "Halloween Disappearances".  There were some, but I didn't tell the kids.

Whatever happened to ghosts and witches?

Cilla has decided to be a princess for Halloween this year.  I'm glad there aren't any theological issues, like last year when she was a nun.

Josh wants to be a "Scary Murder Clown."  I asked him if he couldn't just be a regular clown and he said that was for wimps.  He also wants to carry a toy ax.  "You know, Mom, I saw on TV that children dressing up as something that scares them takes away their fear."

"Are you afraid of murder clowns?" 

Now Josh was in a dilemma.  He didn't want to admit to being frightened, but if he did, he possibly could be a Scary Murder Clown.  He thought a minute and looked around to make sure his sisters couldn't hear him.  "Well, kind of."

Maybe he really is.  So I told him that he could do it, but instead of the mask, he could wear clown makeup.  I could probably make it less scary.  And he could carry the ax in his treat bag, but could only take it out if someone else was waving his weapon at him.

"Or her weapon."  He had me there.

Betsey and her friends Izzy (Isabella) and Samantha want to be the Khardashian sisters.  It involved buying long dark wigs and short dresses.  "And you know, Mom, we'll be able to wear the dresses after Halloween"

"Just like a bridesmaid's gown."  The irony was lost on her.

Karen wanted to know how long it had taken Betsey to wear me down.  "How can you glorify those people?"

I told her that the show provides lot of teaching opportunities, for instance about interracial marriage, transgender issues, alcoholism, drug abuse, and the happiness that money can't buy.

"Do you watch it with them?" Karen wanted to know.

"Yes, and it's very eye opening." 

"Oh, you just want to look at the clothes."

Then Nikki started passing around the pumpkin cheesecake.  It goes well with wine.

(Later Nikki told me that she watches the show too, but she didn't want to deal with Karen.)

Ed is not a fan.  When Betsey told him, he Googled the Khardashians.  He didn't say much, but later he said he was glad that at least they weren't going to pad their butts.