Grilling by the Grill

The dinner went well enough.  I decided to barbecue and eat outside.  That way the kids wouldn’t have to sit in one place and might forget to ask questions.

My father and Missy arrived in separate cars.  I didn’t know if they wanted us to think they weren’t living together or what.  I got everybody settled with drinks and cheese and crackers.  Cilla sat down next to Missy and got to the point quickly.  “Nana, are you still our nana?”

Missy looked a little taken aback.  “Why, of course, I am, Honey.  How could I not want to be your nana?” 

“Are you still Courtney and Dylan’s nana?”

“Well, I’d like to be.  But sometimes you can’t get what you'd like.”

“Cilla, why don’t you come out to the kitchen with me and help put out the olives?”  To Cilla, it just isn’t a picnic or fancy dinner without olives.  But she was enjoying the conversation.

“My Grandma Louie always said, ‘Olives are so festive.’  She used to be married to Grandpa Jack, you know, but she died.”

Betsey had turned up.  “Nana remembers Grandma Louie.”  (Fortunately, she didn’t add “Moron.”)  "She was here with Grandpa Jack for dinners when Nana was here with Grandpa Doug.”

“Is he still our grandpa?”

My head was starting to spin.  I didn’t know if this was making people uncomfortable, but Cilla wasn’t doing anything wrong.  And of course, it must have been very puzzling to her.

“Yes.  You have the same grandparents as ever,” I said.

“But I guess Grandpa Doug won’t be coming here.”

“He will sometimes.”

“But not when Nana and Grandpa Jack are here.”

“That’s right.”

“Do you think Grandpa Doug might try to beat up Grandpa Jack?”

“Girls, I really need you to help me.  I need someone to get out the potato chips.”  Fortunately potato chips didn’t inspire any conversation.

Karen asked me how I felt about my father and Missy.  She wanted to know if I felt insecure about sharing my father. 

Nikki asked if I felt conflicted out of loyalty to my mother.  I really didn’t think so.    But maybe I’ve just been too busy to worry about being insecure or conflicted, what with the end of softball season and Betsey’s and Cilla’s flute and dance recitals, getting everybody ready for camp and helping with the church picnic.

Sometimes it’s hard to give your neuroses your full attention.