Memories Monday -- Meltdown and Cleanup

Although I wasn’t around when Doug left Janet for Missy, Ed told me about it.  Actually, I wormed it out of him.

Janet had really been more upset about losing Missy and basically told Doug, “Ok, see you.”  Doug had been fooling around for years.

Allison had cried and yelled and slammed doors.  She blamed Janet and said that maybe if she’d been a better cook and housekeeper, he wouldn’t have left.  Not that she ever tried to help except by pointing out what needed to be done.

Ed had been upset, of course, but he had thrown himself into school and sports.  That might have been partly because Doug had told the kids, “Don’t think you’re going to be cut any breaks because you come from a broken home.  You’re not going to be allowed to slack off.”

And so they didn’t.

The wedding had been in the country, or as Ed put it, "in some damn field."  Janet had told Ed that he would have to go, and when Doug asked him to be his best man, she’d told him he’d have to do that, too.  She told Ed and Allison to watch out for cow pies, and Allison, who was going to be a bridesmaid, had said she was just trying to spoil things for her and flounced off to her room.  (I got this story from Janet when we were reminiscing about weddings.)  It didn’t make things any better when Allison did step in one.

Janet had moved away from the activism.  As she put it, 'What with ‘Discovering My True Sexual Identity’, as they say, and all, I couldn’t give poverty and injustice my full attention.”

Ed says that discovering her true sexual identity mostly involved talking on the phone and running around with her new friends.

Janet enrolled in a program for displaced homemakers at the Community College and became a legal secretary.  Naturally she had to wear business clothes to work.  (The secretarial course had included makeup and wardrobe tips, which she said made her teeth hurt, but what can you do?)  Missy wears gauzy shirts and embroidered tunics and jewelry made by her artist friends or from some boutique that specializes in “crafts.”  To be fair, she is the office manager for a group of therapists.

I always have my father over for dinner on Father’s Day.  Sometime Ed’s father and Missy would come, unless they’d gone out to visit Allison.  The men would usually watch sports on TV.  My mother was fascinated by Missy.  “Karma, chakras, meditation. It’s just lucky she has a husband.”

Janet had always told the Ed and Allison to be polite to Missy, so it’s a habit. She is very good to the kids, who call her “Nana.”  They have the latest in gender-neutral toys and political t-shirts that are not made in sweatshops.

Nikki said I should call Doug and invite him and Missy and then he would tell me.  I thought that was a bit junior high and that it was more “Mature” and “Appropriate” not to say anything, which probably isn’t healthy, but there are some parts of your upbringing you can’t escape.

Finally, Janet talked to Missy, since they are friends again.  Missy talked to my father and then to Janet and Janet called me.  So I called Missy and invited them.  When I told Ed, he said, “Is this the court of Henry the Eighth or the White House?  All this intrigue over a dinner.”

And then, for some reason, I started to cry.

I don't know why I lost it after Ed’s remark about the Medicis.  At least he didn’t say it was junior high.  The whole thing is, I suppose, but I am too cool to be embarrassed by my own social awkwardness.

Cilla happened to be in the kitchen with us and she looked like she thought she should cry too, but didn’t know why.  She looked at Ed.  He didn’t know what to say.  Josh happened to walk by, took everything in, and asked, “Do you have PMS, Mom?  Would you like some cookies?”

“And a nice cup of tea?” Cilla added.

Ed made me a cup of tea and Cilla brought me some tissues.  Josh found cookies (those sugar cookies from the grocery store that have the icing the color of sidewalk chalk and sprinkles.  I like to just eat the icing.) He even put them on a plate.  I think Betsey’s calling him “Father Josh” has had some effect, because he said, “Now what’s the problem?”

Betsey must have heard the commotion because she came downstairs.  “Mommy’s upset because Grandpa Jack is going to marry Nana because he stole her from Grandpa Doug.”

I was so surprised that I couldn’t even tell them that they were just dating.  Cilla wanted to know if they would get married in Grandma Kate’s church and if she could have a new dress to be flower girl this time.

Later I realized that I really wasn’t thinking straight because I said, “You can probably be a bridesmaid this time since Courtney won’t be in the wedding.”  Courtney is Ed’s sister Allison’s daughter, and of course they won’t be there.  I don’t think Allison is ready for that much healing.

Later I found out that Betsey had found out from Nikki's daughter Ilsa, who had overheard Nikki talking to Karen.