Sunday, September 22, 2013

Nostalgia and Nerves


We were sitting around the kitchen table trying to decide what to do about going down the aisle.  Naturally, no one gives brides away today; they are “escorted.”  I thought it would be nice for Ed to escort Janet, but Kate doesn’t have any children and her parents are dead.  She thought of asking her brother, but he’s in a Buddhist monastery in Japan. 
“Maybe Josh could take Janet and Ed could take Kate.”  But what about our nephew Dylan?

“Maybe you can just go down together,” I said.  “When I got married, all the way down the aisle, my father kept whispering to me that it wasn’t too late to call off the wedding.”
Kate looked concerned.  “How did that make you feel?”

Janet looked exasperated.  “For God’s sake, Kate.  You’re off the clock now.”
“I’m just trying to be supportive of Charlie.”

“Charlie doesn’t need you to be supportive.  She’s worked through her issues.”
“Maybe she’d like to talk about it.”

“Charlie is very happy with her life, and besides, her father is an asshole on roller-skates.”

“You’re going to upset her even more by criticizing her father.”
I was about to tell them that I just thought it was a funny story and give Kate the opportunity to tell Janet that I was in denial, when Kate said, “Excuse me” and ran out of the kitchen. 

Janet burst into tears.  I started to go to her, but she told me to go after Kate.  Josh had come in and was staring into the refrigerator.  I told him to “Go hug Grandma” as I ran out.
Kate was in the den.  She was crying.  “I just want a nice wedding,” she said between sobs.  “I just want everybody to be happy.”

“Good luck with that,” I thought.  But I just handed her a box of tissues and put my arm around her.  “It’s just wedding nerves.  Everybody has fights before their wedding.”
I couldn’t believe that I was comforting a Priest of the Church.  I thought they never got upset, except maybe about suffering and injustice.  By now, Kate was sniffling and blowing her nose.  Well, what worked with the children might work for her.  “Now let’s wash your face,” I said, “and then we’ll have a nice cup of tea and maybe some cookies.”

“Th-thank you.  That would be very nice.”
When we got back to the kitchen, Janet was making Josh a peanut butter sandwich.  He looked at her and then at Kate.

“Now tell each other you’re sorry.”
“Josh!”

“Well, that’s what you make us do.”

So they did.  All we had was Oreos, but no one complained.

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